I imagined your lips pressed to mine

I once dreamed of you by my side

Then you decided to leave

And found something else pressed to my lips

It has become a bad habit now

It’s becoming hard to break

You were once my salvation

Now I am lost in this thing

And I have lost my salvation

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Licensed Chemist

It seemed like another Wednesday afternoon. The sun started to hide, everything started to darken and he was on his laptop, waiting for something good to happen. The Professional Regulation Commission website was up and the refresh button was raped. One more refresh and the dreaded headline was up. The results were posted and he was afraid to open it. He expected the worst. He was ready to accept failure.

Finally, he found the courage to open the list. He slowly scrolled down, looking for names he knew. He found them, he was happy and he lauded them. Then he found his name. It was glorious. Manly tears started to pour down, his body lost strength and he felt he was floating. Yes, it was what he never expected. His name appeared on the list and he was happy. All those months of studying, nights of depression, moments of giving up and days that never made sense seemed to be a beautiful nightmare. Countless glasses of alcohol, countless cigarettes he tried to puff, and tears that never seemed to stop falling were all worth it. He’s now a licensed chemist. The most coveted title for a chemist in the Philippines. His mom cried, his dad shouted, and his brother hugged him. It was one of those days where he can’t stop thanking God that he existed.
He’s no longer just a college graduate. He’s no longer just some random guy you see walking on the street. He thanked the God he believed in. He thanked all divine powers there is. He thanked all the gods that there were, there is and there will ever be that he made the choice to take it. He never regretted. He thanked all those people who helped him. People who never ceases to believe in him even if he no longer did. People who motivated him and told him that he’s not ordinary. Finally, he found a way to flash that smile that does not mask anything. He found a way to show that genuine smile and he let the “tears of joy” fall. And now, he can’t sleep. He can’t sleep, not because he needed to study for tomorrow’s exam, but because he can’t contain his happiness. He was free.

He finally believed that in spite of how ordinary he is, he is after all extraordinary. Life is extraordinary. Things can go wrong, life can mess up, and things can seem to lose its sense, but there’s always a greater plan for you. “Thank you”, was all he uttered. But those two words emanate all the joy he is feeling. And finally he said to himself, “Louie, welcome to the rest of your professional life. You deserve this.” He lauded himself and started to write this.
Yes, this is me. Robert Louie Uy Mandin, licensed professional chemist of the Philippines, signing in. πŸ˜€


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He took a paper and a pencil

And started to write his thoughts

He planned on writing a mile

But his mind was drifting

His thoughts were everywhere

There were voices in his head

And he can’t make them go away

He made a call

Hoping to find someone to talk to

But no one answered

Everyone was either too busy

Or just not care

He felt alone

For years he was fighting

He tried to live

He tried talking about his problems

But everyone needed him more

He gave himself to everyone

Always the ear to listen

Mouth to comfort

And shoulders to cry on

But no one ever asked him

No one ever cared

He decided to stop and breathe

He took his pack of cigarettes

Lit one, and then another

He tried to concentrate

Watched every smoke disappear

The night was cold and damp

And he was alone

He lit the last cigarette

And inhaled all carcinogens

And everything was better for a while

The night went on

His thoughts were still everywhere

The voices kept on talking

They were all negative

He looked for another pack of cigarettes

But this time he found a knife

He went back to his paper and pencil

And started to write again

But this time the paper turned red

And before he could make the first word

Everything went black

And finally the voices stopped talking.

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Pain. It demands to be felt.

The Fault in Our Stars.

This movie has caused a massive impact on teens and maybe everyone from every generation. I personally read the book and just watched the movie. It is a story of two cancer stricken teens who fell madly in love until the guy died while the girl survived. While in the cinema, I’ve seen people cry; people from every sexes. I didn’t cry, even when I read the book. Well, maybe I’m still too numb for such stories. I’ve never cried for a movie or a book. Nope. I just watch it and maybe feel a little sad, then that’s it.

People have seen the story as a story of love and little eternities. However, it taught me another thing. See, after I read the book two months ago, I didn’t appreciate it as much as others did. I placed the book in my bookshelf and that’s it. The end of another novel. Today, after watching the movie, after the actors immortalized the story I’ve come to appreciate it. Don’t get me wrong, I still got disappointed how the movie got too dragging and left out a lot of good details. What really struck me in all these is how life can be too short or how it can be too unfair.

Lately, my life is in a bit of a mess. Countless family problems and my review for the board exams is just too exhausting. I’m not gonna deny how many times have I broke down and just let the tears fall. The poor wall that just keeps on receiving my punches and my knuckles that just turns red, hurt, recover and just get hurt again. I’m not in good shape right now and I’m won’t deny that. As soon as I get out from the house gate, I turn into a whole different person as when I am inside my four cornered room. I flash a smile, pretend like I’m okay and just live life the way I used to. But then it gets too exhausting and as soon as I get home, I just sit in a corner with the lights off and just keep quiet, trying to figure out how I can be happy but sad at the same time. My life is a lie right now. All these stupid problems just keeps on coming and I am even more than afraid on how I’ll perform on the coming board exam when I can’t even keep my head together. It’s just too painful.

The story, however, presented me a whole new way of facing life. See, life gives you problems. It keeps on giving you things you don’t want and things you dread most. But pain is everywhere. Pain is part of life, and the more you keep yourself from it, the more it demands to be felt. So, feel it. Feel the pain that lingers in your soul. Feel the pain that awaits your attention but don’t dwell on it. Don’t let pain be the master of your life. They say that appreciate the little things. Appreciate the people who’s there for you; your friends, family and those random people you meet on your way to wherever you are going. But even if there are people around you, even your family,Β all of them can be the reason for your pain. Even yourself can inflict pain on yourself. So feel the pain, live the pain and shrug it off. Problems are everywhere, pain is everywhere. Either you run from or face it. Learn from it and continue living. After all, life is meant to be lived until the day when your body gives up and longs for eternal rest. As the story said, “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you”. Some pain are worth it, some are not. Now, I’ve decided to deal with these problems better. It’s good to break down sometimes but after that, you just have to stand up and face it. Crying out will not take the pain away. I just hope and pray that I’ll make it. I just hope and pray that at the end of this dark tunnel I am in, I’ll find the light. Right now, I have to focus on my review for the Chemistry Licensure Exam on September. These problems is just part of the whole package. I just want to believe that they are challenges that I have to face right now. I just have to.

β€œWhat a slut time is. She screws everybody.”
― John Green,Β The Fault in Our Stars

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Frustrated Cook

I am a frustrated cook and, yes, I love to cook. πŸ˜€

After a few boring posts about my life and how things were a bit messy, tonight I decided to put some colors in this blog.

I’ve always loved food. Who doesn’t? But, I don’t just love food, I also want to prepare what I eat. If I am home, I refuse to cook because my mom still cooks the best food in town; for me at least. You have to try my mom’s cooking and you’ll surely love it. (Proud son here) But, when I am in my apartment, I love preparing what goes inside my mouth. I don’t cook the usual recipes that you can see everywhere. I can’t even cook them. Instead, I go to the store and look for any random ingredients that seems pleasing to the eyes and hope they taste good when I cook them. Tonight, luckily, the store in front of my apartment had tomatoes, garlic and onions. With that, I decided to rekindle my love for tomatoes and made myself a hearty dinner after a very tiring day.

For tonight’s menu, I cooked the fluffiest scrambled eggs I ever tasted.


2 large eggs

1/2 cup of evaporated milk (best with whole milk)




Beat eggs until fluffy. Heat the pan with a little bit of oil. When pan is heat enough, pour the beaten eggs followed by milk and mix with spatula. After a minute of mixing, remove from heat to avoid overcooking and let the heat of the pan continue cooking the egg. If egg is already fluffy enough but not dry, take out of pan and serve.

Aside from the fluffy eggs, I opened a can of hot and spicy tuna and mixed it with sauteed garlic and onions.

The best part of tonight’s dinner are the sauteed tomatoes. I love tomatoes; raw or cooked. Imagine that red or green tomato, cut in half, and yes, tomatoes are love. Anyway, tonight I sauteed tomatoes and sprinkled it with bits of oregano leaves. Here’s how I did it.


2 large tomatoes


oregano leaves





Chop onion and garlic with how large or small you want them. I prefer them as tiny as possible. Heat oil in pan and start sauteing onions and garlic. When aroma engulfs the whole place, put in the tomatoes and cook for a minute or two. Don’t let the tomatoes get burnt or don’t let them get saggy to maintain firmness. Sprinkle a bit of salt and mix thoroughly. Serve and sprinkle with oregano leaves to add a bit of fancy.

Sauteed Tomatoes.

Sauteed Tomatoes.

Here’s how it looked after. I know some of you might not be a fan of tomatoes, but I just love them especially with eggs. And some of you might notice that I just cooked a dish usually intended for breakfast, but, I have a very bad habit of not having breakfast in the morning so I make one for dinner.

That hearty dinner.

That hearty dinner.

After tonight’s break from all school stuffs, I will be going back to them tomorrow. That then means I will be eating outside more to avoid the time consuming cooking session. I just have to finish my thesis manuscript, micro teaching, History video project, and Industrial Chemistry paper so I can have regular chance of cooking my meal.

Hope you enjoyed this post and I encourage everyone to try what I cooked and please love tomatoes. And if you already love them, then keep loving them. πŸ˜€

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21 Things You Should Do Before You Turn 21

Here are the numbers I haven’t done yet:
3. Come on, I chicken out all the time. Tsk.
7. Getting into that. πŸ˜‰
8. I’ve never been good in competitions but I’ll try.
13. I never cared about it. :))
14. Uhm, yeah. Tough one here.
15. I want to try a part-time job in a coffee shop for the summer before reviewing for the board exam. :))
18. I kept on planning to do this, but, never had the courage to do it. Maybe, this time. πŸ™‚
20. Yeah. I always sport a smile to hide everything away. I think I must change that. XD

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Show Must Go On

Photo Source: Google Images

Photo Source: Google Images

Waking up to another day, still fresh from last night’s tiring saga with my thesis, I battled again with myself if I’ll go to school or not. Not that I hate school, I just hate mornings of Wednesdays and Fridays for this semester. Normally, after a previously tiring day, after a good night’s sleep, I just wake up with another energy-filled self. Again, I dread these days for the semester. Then again, like any other hateful days, I’m left with no choice. I have to wake up, change into my uniform and march my way to the university. I have to try my best to sport a smile in spite of the hesitation and put on that mask that hides the face of a tired student. Then again, I wonder if there’ll be a student who doesn’t complain how tiring it is going to school. But, at the end of the day, I am still just a student and my parents are the one paying for my education so I have to go to school, learn a thing or two or more and do the necessary school activities no matter how tiring they may be. After all those energy-draining, mind-boggling, and hate nurturing school stuffs we have to wake up and the show must go on.

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